When life gives us lemons, just make lemonade. Easier said than done, right?
Life is full of ups and downs. When the messy, unsatisfying, and unaware life is too much, we often wish we could reset and start over, or at least get a second chance to get things right.
Journeying out of the comfortable familiar is not for the weak-hearted. It starts with self-awareness. To wake up and become aware that life, your life, is not what you thought it would be – at all. This awakening is what I call the pain point. The moment the pain of living a faulty, false life is costlier than making a change in your life.
In my practice, and my own personal life, I have seen over and over again the desire to move away from a destructive pattern is the greatest catalyst for change. Personally, the theme of being an outsider was recurring in my childhood and continued to show up in many of the choices I made in adulthood. While most of my friends were having children, I wasn’t. When most of my friends were getting married, I stayed single until I was 36.
The epitome of the being the outsider came when I married a man with four teenage children. The feeling of being an outsider was familiar as I began living the role of being a stepmom. I was now part of a family unit, but I was in the second squadron—the biological family was still robust and intact despite the divorce. I often felt like I was on the outside looking in. My husband, unknowingly reacting to guilt about his first divorce, was unavailable to fully commit to me. The years of being overlooked took their toll on me. I became a shell of the person I knew I was supposed to be. Thus, even after counseling, I couldn’t find myself or my joy in the marriage. We divorced and in response, my community of friends and my church separated from me. And the life script of outsider continued.
Through therapy, workshops, and growth in my personal self-awareness, I finally recognized that I had a powerful negative life script ruling my life. The divorce was a tool in my self-awareness journey. Being an outsider was familiar and had become comfortable. By continuing my life in this manner, I never had to confront the pain inside. I never had to risk, trust, or commit.
My pain point was my divorce, the time I had to ultimately take responsibility for my mistakes and my unhealthy ways of living. Have you experienced your pain point? Do you want to push RESET?
Here are a few valuable tips for success to RESET your life:
- Become Self-Aware: Increase your awareness of your lifestyle – the way you live routinely and often automatically. These are habits you do daily. You want to live a certain way, so you customize your life to live that way. By choosing work, activities, and relationships that honor your values, you find you are living the aware life. Be aware of the choices and habits which decrease fulfillment and relationship satisfaction.
- Take Responsibility: Look deep into your life and your choices and see how you have contributed to the issue. Own what you discover. If you struggle with this step, you may want to work with a therapist or coach.
- Take your Time: Be committed to the change. Most people underestimate the time needed to make sustainable change. Be realistic about how long the process will take. Set realistic time-aware goals.
- Understand the Price of Success: There is always a price for success. These changes may alter relationships, careers, friendships, and lifestyles. Are you ready to walk out of the familiar and possibly encounter disappointment and disapproval from others? Understanding that the cost of staying in the messy, unsatisfying, and unaware life is greater than the price of change will help you meet and sustain your goal.
These four pillars of change will make the difference between success and failure. So, if you are ready – push the RESET button. Grace and blessings to you as you choose the Aware Life!!
Oh, and ladies, speaking of RESET…if you would like to meet me and three other amazing coaches at a fun, informative, and motivational event to help you reclaim your life, come experience the RESET Revolution October 28th in gorgeous Fayetteville, AR.
Get more information, click the links below.